here goes my first “official” blog

It’s been long overdue. Something I’ve wanted to start for the longest time. I guess procrastination is real, and as a developer, I’ve been an unwilling victim of this curse. Tonight, I’m trying to make amends, and in the process, I realized it’s probably time I start changing a few things about myself.

So what’s the first thing I do? Apparently, I create a blog section on my website. Here’s hoping I can actually maintain it. And maybe fix a few other quirks along the way.

But then again, are quirks even meant to be fixed? Interesting thought… one for another night. But tonight is about this blog.

For readers who don’t know me, first of all, Hello! Thank you for being here. I genuinely hope you enjoy reading about who I am and what I do.

So yeah, my introduction. Hoping you already know my name, but just in case — I’m Aryan. I’m just a kid (yes, I still call myself that and with pride). A confused one, to be really honest. [And I promise I’ll always stay honest here.]

I’m confused about life — trying to understand its purpose. Yet every time I feel like I’m close to figuring it out, I hit a massive bump.

I love science and math, which has naturally led me to computers. I enjoy designing circuits, building robots, solving problems… and honestly, I love doing all that.

But sometimes, it makes me wonder — is this really what my life’s purpose is all about?

Right now, as I write this, I’m about a month away from graduating college. And yet, I feel more confused than ever. The easy path for someone like me would be to take a job in tech and start earning. But then again… is that really what someone like me should do?

Paradoxical, right!!

When I was little, I used to think I’d do something that would change the world. Maybe I still will. Who knows? If that happens, I’m glad I documented this here. 🌍

But how do I even start?

Every path I feel drawn to, every direction that feels right for me, is somehow the one path the world around me would never accept.

My family wouldn’t get it. My friends wouldn’t understand. And society? It would probably just label it as “unrealistic.”

Sometimes I think about Gautam Buddha. His real name is Siddhartha Gautama btw.

What must have gone through his mind when he decided to walk away from it all. His family, his kingdom, his comfort — in search of something deeper? Something he couldn’t explain to those around him. Something that had no visible reward.

No throne. No fame. No applause. And yet, through that path, he found enlightenment. Interesting, right?!

Back then, to his people, he probably looked insane. A prince, abandoning everything for a feeling, a question, a search. No one could have imagined that one day, the same man would be worshipped across generations and cultures.

Now, don’t get me wrong. **I don’t want to be worshipped 😅 and I am definitely not trying to compare myself to him, neither will I ever be able to. **I’m okay being who I am, as people know me now. And I’m pretty sure even Siddhartha never imagined he’d be seen as a god. I doubt that was ever his goal.

But still… it makes you wonder what he might have been thinking back then. He had everything. Everything a person could dream of.

So why? Why walk away?

Maybe I’ll have to find those answers on my own.

Because today, most people only look to these godlike figures for help, and miracles, without really thinking about their journey. Without asking what made them leave, what made them search, and what they sacrificed to know themselves.

A little too deep for my first blog, I guess **😅. **But writing it down really felt nice. For the first time, it felt I was able to actually arrange my thoughts. Not in the best way possible, but hey, it’s a process, and it’ll take time. Hoping this practice helps me get better at it.

Bye for now 👋